


That Life, This Life

by unfoldingbliss



Category: Bishoujo Senshi Sailor Moon | Pretty Guardian Sailor Moon (Anime), Sailor Moon - All Media Types
Genre: F/M, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-12-09
Updated: 2013-12-09
Packaged: 2018-01-04 02:51:53
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,593
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1075670
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/unfoldingbliss/pseuds/unfoldingbliss
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Makoto is happy. Still, visions of her past life invade her dreams, and lingering what-ifs haunt her in cafes. [Nephrite/Makoto]</p>
            </blockquote>





	That Life, This Life

This was written for this year’s Ficathon over at the Shitennou Forum. I’m not ashamed to admit that I ship the senshi/shitennou like burning (especially Kunzite/Minako and Rei/Jadeite because they have some canon backing). Makoto/Nephrite has always intrigued me because these two, in both the live-action and anime adaptions, have separate love interests outside of one another, and Makoto even had a love interest in Ittou Asanuma in the manga itself. So, I kind of wanted to explore where that could lead them, and this was the result.

Hope you enjoy!

———-

Makoto was late.

Her feet scurried across slick asphalt, breath frequent as she weaved through the thriving Tokyo crowd. Bad enough it was raining – where had these squealing teens and self-important suits come from? Sure, yeah, it was Friday…but it was raining! Shouldn’t they be inside, drinking hot chocolate by a fireplace?

_Like me,_ Makoto sighed. First the debacle at the bakery, then the slip up with her favorite winter dress, missing Ittou’s phone call…and now she was late.

Ten minutes later and Makoto finally found herself at The Sagittarius, a fancy café with the best white chocolate mocha Makoto had had the pleasure of tasting. Not to mention their croissants were likes bits of paradise wrapped in fluffy, buttery folds.

She checked herself in the window before entering, wiping the sweat off her brow with a spare napkin. Her umbrella had kept her relatively dry, though she would definitely need a new pair of brown flats. The combination of jogging, rain, and dirt had ruined them. Her skinny green capris had a few spots of rain here and there and her long white blouse clung to the sticky skin underneath, but…it would have to do.

Besides, it wasn’t Ittou who was inside. He was the only one she felt the need to impress, anyway…even if the man she was about to meet was a friend and lover from another lifetime. Even if the memories of one thousand years ago continued to visit her in dreams, flashes of warm hands and searing kisses stirring emotions that she believed had long faded…

“Hey, you coming in? Or is today the day Makoto reveals herself to be a narcissist?”

 

Makoto blinked and whipped around, her satchel nearly hitting the newcomer on his thigh. Wavy brown hair toppled over broad shoulders, dressed in a dark green shirt and tucked securely into black slacks. Amused blue eyes smiled at her, a steady hand offering itself to hers.

And Minako insisted Kunzite was the gentleman.

“Nephrite!” Makoto exclaimed, a wide grin stretching across her face. Ignoring his hand, she leapt up and wrapped her arms around his neck, pulling him in for a tight hug. Her umbrella fell to the floor as he returned the gesture, but she was hardly the type to care given the situation (Ami would though, always worrying about every little thing. She really needed a guy like Zoisite to help loosen her up). The pair hadn’t seen each other since the end of the holiday season – Makoto busy with classwork and the bakery while Nephrite continued his astronomical research at Tokyo U. It was nearing the end of February now.

Two months had been much too long for Makoto’s liking.

“How have you been? You look good,” Makoto said as she pulled away, allowing him to lead her into the café. His grip was warm around her wrist, a refreshing change to the brisk wind outside.

It was obvious why Nephrite loved the place. The Sagittarius smelled of fresh coffee grounds and salty caramel, and her mouth watered in slight anticipation. Every table was small and round, with just enough space for three people to squeeze in close for hearty conversation. The walls were plastered with maps of stars and constellations, illuminated by the chandeliers hanging from the ceiling.

“I’m pretty good, actually. And thank you,” Nephrite replied, letting go of her hand to hold out her chair. Their table was in the corner of the café looking out to the street, bystanders, bikers, and cars passing the window seconds at a time. Makoto gave him a gracious smile and sat down, sliding her chair up to the table as Nephrite took his seat, “What about you? Your classes still as boring as ever?”

Makoto rolled her eyes, “Ugh, _yes_. Being a freshman blows. I have to get all my core classes out of the way before I even get to my major. At least ‘Samurai in Film’ keeps this semester from being a total snooze.”

“Samurai in Film?” Nephrite repeated, “That sounds fun. You watch _Seven Samurai_ yet? That’s a classic staple of the genre.”

“Not yet,” Makoto shook her head as she flipped over the menu on the table, eyes darting through the many options, “We’re getting to that next week. I’ve seen it like three times at Rei’s house though, so it should be easy to talk about in class.”

“Three times?” Nephrite crooked a brow, “Didn’t know Rei was into that era.”

“She’s always liked history,” Makoto replied, “Just as much as fashion, actually. But with Jadeite living at the temple, they’re always watching a bunch of old movies every time I go over. Last week I think it was something like _Vertigo_. It was super trippy though – I could hardly understand any of it, especially the ending.”

Nephrite chuckled, flagging down the waiter four tables down, “Those two are special like that. Off in their own little vintage world…old souls, you know.”

“Literally,” Makoto said before the waiter arrived, asking the pair what they would like to drink. Nephrite ordered his usual: a café au lait with an extra shot of espresso and a slice of layered green tea cake.

“And for you, miss?” the waiter smiled down at Makoto.

She hummed as she skimmed the menu one last time, mulling over if she should try something different for a change. She always ordered the white chocolate mocha with a chocolate croissant, and Nephrite had told her they had some of the best baked goods in the city (not on par with her baking skills, he would ensure)…

“I’ll go with the caramel macchiato and a custard taiyaki, please,” Makoto handed over her menu, proud of herself for trying something new. She’d been stuck in routine since September – her days of unpredictable adventure were few and far between.

“Interesting combo,” Nephrite said after the waiter left, “Feeling bold?”

“I guess,” Makoto shrugged, “Don’t get me wrong – I love white chocolate mochas more than life itself, but I needed something new today. Just feels right.”

Her companion nodded, his eyes taking on an unreadable shine, “I understand. More of the same…it’s not always a good thing.”

Makoto paused at his last remark, her fingers stiffening in her lap. He couldn’t possibly be alluding to…?

“How’s Naru?” she asked before she had the chance to process his words further, her throat stiff at the mere thought.

Nephrite’s body slacked at the sound of his girlfriend’s name and a gentle smile tugged at his lips, “She’s doing really well. Still as silly and cute as ever. I haven’t seen her since Valentine’s Day however, since she’s studying in Kyoto.”

“What did you guys do?” Makoto didn’t give herself time to think about that – that Nephrite hadn’t seen Naru in two weeks, that Makoto herself hadn’t seen Ittou since the start of his semester in Osaka. That her Valentine’s Day had been spent at the bakery, selling goods to happy couples and watching them feed each other on the tables outside.

None of that mattered. Nephrite was happy. And so was Makoto.

“I went out there for a visit,” Nephrite said, “She showed me around her university and we ate at this hole-in-the-wall a few streets down from her dorm room. The tonkatsu was delicious, and the weird Mexican dessert Naru ordered was really tasty.”

“Mexican dessert? What’s it called?”

“I can’t remember the name right now…I think it started with an f…or maybe it was a c…” he trailed, his stare distant.

“F and C don’t sound anything alike, dork,” Makoto snickered, the nervous edge she had felt moments before subsiding. When Nephrite was like this: a little unsure, his thoughts sporadic, an idea ready to burst from his lips…it reminded her of the life before.

Then, he’d been daring and wild, ready for the next pursuit at a second’s notice. His desire to protect his prince was only outweighed by his want for constant activity. Challenging Zoisite at a childish game he had invented or enticing Jadeite in another trivial debate about trees…there was nothing Nephrite didn’t want to engage in. He was also flirtatious and nonchalant, chatting up any wayward servant when the opportunity arrived. When it came to her, however…

“Flan!” Nephrite exclaimed, “It was called flan. It’s kind of like crème brulee, only with soft caramel on top. You would have really liked it, Makoto.”

“Probably,” she replied, still trying to shake off the images that had been in her head, “You know me, caramel is my number one drug.”

Nephrite smirked, a touch more predatory than Makoto was accustomed to, “I thought that was Mr. Asanuma.”

Abrupt heat rose to her cheeks and she turned her gaze away from him, thoughts of her sweet and enthusiastic boyfriend sending a wave of guilt crashing into her stomach. She hadn’t told him she was meeting with Nephrite today, and she had missed his phone call. Plus, being as perceptive as he was, it didn’t take him long to decipher her former relationship with Nephrite.

_“How’d you find out?” Makoto had asked him, her heart hammering against her ribs._

_“I just figured…you all are in a set,” Ittou had replied, his stare fixed on the yellow cake on display in front of her bakery, “Mamoru and Usagi, Minako and Kunzite, Rei and Jadeite, even Ami and Zoisite…they’re all together. But you and Nephrite – you’re not.”_

_“I didn’t know about him until he came back,” Makoto closed the gap between them, interlacing her fingers with his, “I…he was under Beryl’s control and he was defeated just before I joined. And when they were revived, we were already together, and he…well, he had fallen for Naru.”_

_“So, it was chance then,” Ittou looked up, “You two just didn’t align up this time…and it doesn’t bother you that everyone else in your group paired off?”_

_“I have you,” Makoto replied firmly, kissing him on the cheek, “That’s all that I want.”_

The memory faded and Makoto took a deep breath before replying to Nephrite, squeezing her hands together, “Yes…you could say that.”

“Stop the fake modesty,” Nephrite wagged a finger at her, “It doesn’t go with that pretty pink complexion of yours.”

“I’m not faking it,” Makoto narrowed her eyes a bit, “I have no interest detailing my sex life to a friend.”

Nephrite remained quiet after her last remark, the indescribable gleam in his eyes returning. He shoved his hands into his pockets and waited until their drinks and pastries arrived. Makoto decided not to pursue further conversation, opting to think of what she would say when she called Ittou back. Did she tell him about this? He wasn’t the type to get jealous, considering the amount of guys she hung around with regardless. And he’d been pretty understanding of her past life before…surely this wouldn’t be a deal-breaker.

When the waiter returned with their orders, Makoto wasted no time in taking an eager sip of her macchiato, surprised by the strong taste singeing her taste buds. Milky and sweet; she decided she liked it.

She was about to move on to the cooling taiyaki when Nephrite finally spoke, his voice barely above a whisper, “You weren’t always like that.”

His words caught her off guard, the lingering taste of macchiato on her tongue growing bitter, “What?”

“I said,” Nephrite’s voice grew stronger, his stare meeting hers, “You weren’t always like that, Makoto. Modest about your…intimacy with others.”

“…You remember that?” Makoto asked, a silent thrill shooting up the back of her spine. If this was going where she hoped, it would be the first time they had ever discussed their past lives alone. Away from the other senshi and shittenou, free of their current beloveds.

Just two people in a café, reminiscing over better times.

“I was there, wasn’t I?” Nephrite shrugged, a slight ease spreading across his face, “You’d practically skip off an hour later and tell Rei everything.”

“Why Rei?”

He grinned, “She was the only one who would listen to you.”

Makoto returned his smile, “Makes sense. I don’t think the Minako then would have put up with it, and Ami could never stomach any story that involves something more than kissing. And Usagi – “

“Was the princess,” Nephrite interrupted, “You knew better to tell her of your exploits with one of the prince’s guards.”

A small laugh escaped her, “Now that I think of it, you’re totally right! I’d tell anyone who listened…but, I can’t really remember that.”

“How so?” Nephrite questioned, seemingly intrigued while he stirred a spoonful of sugar into his coffee.

“Well, it’s a bit hard to explain,” Makoto began, her thoughts drifting off to the life she knew of before, “I can only really remember things in my dreams, and even then everything’s a bit hazy. I generally remember how my friends were, what the castle life was like on the Moon and Jupiter. But specifics like what my favorite food was or a random outing to a garden somewhere…none of those I can recollect.”

“So your memories are broad,” Nephrite replied, taking a bite of his cake before continuing, “Interesting; mine are the opposite, actually.”

“Oh?”

“I can recall certain events in specific detail. Consider what you gave as an example: a random outing to a garden. If I do remember something like that, I can detail every flower, the perfume of a woman passing by, the sound of someone’s voice as they go on about a new defense strategy…I can remember it all. But, it’s only these certain events and nothing else.”

“Do you –” Makoto paused, afraid her curiosity was about to get the best of her. And yet, this was her chance, “Do you have memories of – of us?”

The smile that stretched over his lips and reached the corners of his blue eyes startled Makoto, blood rapidly pounding against her neck. That smile had always been reserved for Naru. When he went on and on about her latest success or one of their date nights. That smile…

It used to belong to her. Makoto was so very sure of it.

“Of course I do,” Nephrite replied, “Don’t you?”

“Yes, I do,” she nodded, “But like I said, all of my memories are hazy. I remember who you were and how you behaved, but I can’t really remember any specific time we were, well, together.”

The man in front of her nodded, picking up his cup for another sip of coffee. Makoto followed his lead, the sweet, milky caramel relieving her of the heavy questions dawdling in her thoughts. Her taiyaki was cold by now, almost forgotten.

“Would you like to hear about my favorite?”

She didn’t hesitate, “Yes.”

Nephrite nestled the warm cup between his fingers, his eyes fixed on the drink inside. His expression was earnest, though his shoulders seemed to shake, as if he’d wanted this as long as Makoto had, “It was the first time we had ever been alone. You were walking down the halls of the Prince’s castle, your natural curiosity getting the better of you. I was on guard duty and called out to you from the other side of the hall. You turned around, unafraid and determined to get your way no matter what I was about to say. And…I remember liking those eyes a lot. They were so bright and green, even in the dark. I forgot what I was going to initially say and instead asked if you needed an escort.”

“Did I say yes?” Makoto struggled to recall the event Nephrite could so vividly reimagine, but nothing he said sparked her memory.

“No,” Nephrite almost chuckled, his grin widening, “You scoffed, asked me if I was daft, and walked away grumbling.”

Her eyes widened, “That’s your favorite memory of me? Why?”

“Because it proved, at least to me, that you were nothing but yourself,” Nephrite said, “And there was nothing more I respected and admired in a person.”

A quiet blush found its way to the corners of Makoto’s cheeks, her shoulders tingling as his words resounded. Nothing but herself…and yet, in this life, she would have readily accepted his hand. Would have let him escort her throughout the castle halls and grounds, watching every subtle gesture he made and cataloguing it into her scrapbook of memories.

But in that life, she had resisted. Then, she had fought against his charm and courtship.

Which begged the question – why did she…why did she…

“Everyone else has changed like we have, right?” Makoto asked, scrunching up a napkin between her fingers, “Kunzite and Minako, Rei and Jadeite…they’ve changed, haven’t they?”

“Yes, they have,” Nephrite frowned, the shine in his eyes diminishing, “They all have. Especially Zoisite – he’s pretty much a polar opposite from his first life. Why do you ask? I thought you knew that.”

They had changed; they all had. And still, everyone else had found each other again, the love they had shared before streaming back into their hearts.

Everyone else except them.

With sudden resolve, Makoto flung her hands over Nephrite’s, her grip tight around his long fingers, “What happened to us, Nephrite? Why are we the only ones left?”

He blinked, a bitter smirk cementing itself to his face, “Because that was that life, Makoto. And this is this life.”

He pulled his hands away from her and Makoto bit her lip at the gesture. She wanted to say something else. To convince him that he was wrong and this life was just the same as the one before. But he was right, very much so.

There, they’d only had each other. Here, Ittou and Naru had been waiting. And what were their past lives worth if they ripped apart two loving souls in the process?

The Makoto before would have accepted her fate. Would have loved Ittou to the fullest.

But this Makoto wasn’t sure if she could.

The rest of their time together was spent in silence, besides the occasional trivial question like how their food tasted or what they would be doing tomorrow. Makoto found she no longer had the courage to discuss their past; she no longer had the will to think about who she was before.

Nephrite paid for their meal and they both walked out of the café at an arm’s length a part. The rain had stopped and the sun peaked out from the dark clouds, washing the streets in a shimmering glare. Her throat was hot and tight, the sudden need to bolt back to her apartment and throw herself into a cold shower growing by the second. There was nothing else she could say to him; there was nothing he could say to her.

“I’ll call you in a couple of days,” Nephrite broke the silence as he looked over towards his bus stop, “We can talk some more…about this, then.”

“Alright,” Makoto replied, keeping her gaze firm on the ground. She would pick up, no doubt about that. Whether she was looking forward to such a call, well…

A pair of lips found their way to her cheek and a gentle goodbye was whispered into her hair. As Makoto turned around and watched Nephrite depart, the streets of Tokyo melted away, replaced with lush gardens and pale moonlight. Nephrite’s coat transformed into a crisp, gray uniform and his form appeared relaxed and resolute. And although she hoped, Makoto knew he would not turn around for one more glance.

It was the memory of their final goodbye. And both of them understood , now, how final it was meant to be.

Her phone buzzed in the folds of her satchel, and she picked it up as her eyes watered over.

“Ittou? I’m sorry I missed your call. I was…visiting an old friend.”

\-------

A few notes:

  * Ittou Asanuma is from the manga - he isn't a major player in either the anime or live-action, but his character is tied to Mamoru and Makoto's, and he even discovers who and what the Sailor Scouts are...in a way. That's why he's pretty perceptive here, and would easily understand if Makoto left him for Nephrite. 
  * I ship Naru/Nephrite just a little bit more than Makoto/Nephrite, as each has their strengths as a couple. I also ship Ami/Nephrite in the live-action if that helps XD It really is bizarre that the two adaptions of the manga chose to humanize Nephrite the most, and even have him develop romantic feelings for two of the leading ladies. Especially considering that he, along with Zoisite, were the least developed of the shitennou in the manga. Strange, but definitely not unwelcomed!



Welp, that's it! I hope you liked it - I might write some Kunzite/Minako in the future, as that's my Sailor Moon OTP, but it's pretty far down the list....we'll see.


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